he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
