Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
