This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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