drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
