Your face is a jimmy john
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
