Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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