after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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