She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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