the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
