i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
