I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
