you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
