Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
