Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I FOUND THE LEGS
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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