lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
