Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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