Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
