and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
