By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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