just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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