CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
