At least make sure they are 18
Why
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
