Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
