We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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