Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
