Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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