But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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