Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
