Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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