ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
