just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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