I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
