oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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