I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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