Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
