i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
