i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
