It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
