I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
