I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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