Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
