You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
