Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I want a musical about memes.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
