my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
