fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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