You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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