____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
