We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
