"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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