You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
