saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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