I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
