We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
