There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
